“I know what Lyme has done to you and how narrowly you have survived thus far.”

I read an essay today that made me feel normal — and even slightly hopeful — for the first time in years (it’s been a really hard few years).

It’s a little long, but beautifully written as an exercise by Lyme survivor Jennifer Crystal in the style of the great James Baldwin, so worth the extra few minutes. I found it powerful to read it aloud.

If you are chronically ill with Tick Borne Illnesses or know someone who is, I’m putting this on your Must Read List:

“Letter to a Lyme patient, written in the style of a famous essay by James Baldwin.”

(From the lymedisease.org blog: Touched By Lyme.)

Saint Rat – Silly Silk

See more on my art website:  http://AstaArt.com/

 

Saint Rat – Silly Silk, a photo by Serena Mira Asta (Formerly Elizabeth Anne) on Flickr.

SOLD – Original Saint Rat batik on silk. First piece sold during the Fall 2011 Art Crawl!

New Asta Art Site

I’m creating a new art blog in time for the Fall 2011 St. Paul Art Crawl: Asta Art. It’s under construction, but check it out from time to time. I’d love constructive feedback!

Carla Sonheim’s Art Camp

Yeah I’m toast from overdoing it the past few weeks. But I am so in love with Carla Sonheim’s childlike art techniques that I found myself signed up for all three of her Summer Art Camps: Imaginary Creatures, Faces 101, and Junk Mail Artist’s Book.

This week is Faces 101 (we are supposed to end up with 101 different faces in various media). I’ll include samples as I go.

The Two Towers – Freeing the GOP: Fun video

I like my political commentary funny. If you can embed it in The Lord of The Rings, so much the better. Click and enjoy!

The Two Towers – Freeing the GOP

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Easter House

"Easter House"

I had so much fun in my papermaking class. And got inspired in great directions, many of which connect with the work I used to do with fiber. More to come, for sure!

This is my piece for our vessel project. Created from handmade paper, Palm frond stems from Palm Sunday, Palm leaf ash mixed with beeswax, waxed linen thread, India ink. 9.75″ tall by 6.75″ wide by 6.25″ deep.

Spring Haute Dish is Out!

Haute Dish: Spring 2011 edition

Haute Dish: Spring 2011 is here! This is old news for those in the know – I’m behind, what with moving and packing and now unpacking. I have four pieces (!) in this issue —  I’m a lucky girl. It’s a gorgeous issue. Enjoy the entire thing online. Lots of good writing and art.

And call those in charge crazy, but I’ve been invited to become Managing Editor of this illustrious publication starting this summer! I am terrifically honored, excited, and happy.  And terrified. I mean, have you SEEN how cool this thing is? I have big shoes to fill. (And nice shoes too… the current Managing Ed. has great tasted in footwear.)

Noah’s Blog

My nephew has started a blog. He works hard to write each paragraph, which has inspired me to think about what I am doing here in my blog. So, like my nephew said in his most recent post, I will try my best to write here more often. Thank you Noah.

I’m published in Haute Dish!

The literary magazine at Metropolitan State, Haute Dish, accepted two of my poems! (Thank you, poetry editors!) Click here to see them!

The rest of the journal is also darned wonderful. Click here for the front page. Great art, prose, and poetry.

It’s a fabulous organization, a beautiful publication (the hard copy will be out soon), with a really fun editorial board. I am now a member of that board, and have the good fortune of being able to cavort with extraordinarily talented individuals. Especially our chief editor, Alicia Catt, and our faculty advisor, Suzanne Nielsen (No, I am not sucking up haha. Ok, maybe a little).

This publication has been going for six years—most literary journals fail after five. That tells you something right there. Quality my friends.

Catching up: The last 1.5 years

I haven’t written much in the past year and a half because, well, they sucked. And one can only whine so much before you bore yourself, not to mention others. Downside: I have found that new or potential friends will run screaming if you are truthful about how bad things really are. Upside: I’ll have plenty of material for writing in the future.

For those of you who I’ve recently befriended or refriended, here’s a short, edited, slightly (sometimes extremely) whiny list to catch you up.

Chronic Lyme disease. Which, symptom-wise, is like saying I have ALS, MS, CFS, FMS, and occasionally Tourette’s. Short term memory is far worse than it should be (between 5% and 35% of expected). My body acts like is is near 70. I can be reasonably fine one minute, then unable to move without screaming the next. No warning. I treated the Lyme for several years, and am lots better (don’t need the power wheelchair at the moment, for example). This may be the plateau I must live with. The worst part is that it’s largely invisible. If you look at me, I probably look healthy. Sometimes that’s great. Sometimes it’s awful. I know there are people far worse off than I am. In fact, I use Stephen King’s quote about recovering from nearly being killed by a crazy man in a van: “You try to tell yourself that you’ve been lucky, most incredibly lucky and usually that works because it’s true. Sometimes it doesn’t work, that’s all. Then you cry.”

Divorce last year. It seemed like something that happened to someone else, like a car accident. I didn’t see it coming, which goes to show the depth of denial in which I can live. Yes, even after all those years of therapy. Damn.

Foreclosure. Lost a beautiful home/condo in downtown St. Paul to foreclosure, tied inextricably with item 2 above. For details call or email me. I gave the place to my ex in the divorce. Even so I found myself left me open to a…

Lawsuit from the condo association. My ex paid nothing to live in the condo during the foreclosure (1.5 years), so the association is suing both of us for, I think it’s over $20K now. My ex didn’t get a job as promised. The place was unsellable due to association problems with plumbing. Blah, blah, blah. I stopped living in the condo the moment I couldn’t pay out of my SSDI. None of it matters legally. My ex lives with his parents when the foreclosure ended earlier this month. He will go through bankruptcy. I’m waiting to get served.

My family suffered a year from hell. One sibling survived a nasty bout of cancer, and is still recovering from the treatment. Another sister is suffering from mental illness. She and I share stories of battling the SSDI system, the medical system, etc.  Safe to say that my family has been busy with their own serious problems to be a resource for me (except for Margie in January 2009, who saved my ass by helping me move out of the condo in a hurry… amazing). This has felt surprising and difficult.

Turned 52 last week (July 21 if you missed it). Got a few cards (some $ – thanks Dad!), a lunch with my Dad, sister Margie, and niece Meaghan (thanks again, Dad!). The Facebook birthday greetings were amazingly meaningful – seriously! Kind of like having a party without having to do the work.

Going to school for a BA in Creative Writing at Metro State University. Wanted to start an art-related MDiv, but didn’t qualify for the scholarship without the BA. Just started this past summer term. Every step is a test to see if my bod and mind can hack it. I’m on the edge right now, end of term with two classes. Also, it looks like I might have screwed up the financial aid paperwork for fall. The red tape is worse than the classes. Today the deadlines feel like they might kill me. Talk to me in four weeks when it’s over.

Church. Joined a rather radical Lutheran church at the beginning of the divorce. The illness had left me isolated and friendless. Really. I needed support and found it at Pilgrim Lutheran Church. I’m really a UU Pagan, but I feel at home at Pilgrim — as much as I can in any church.

Friends. Have grown closer with a handful friends, for which I am grateful.

My apartment is close to my church, which means I can usually get to choir practice and services, even if I’m having an awful day. It’s not quite big enough to house me, a writing area and an art area, but I’ve shoehorned it in anyway. Still have unpacked boxes. Hard to get up and down stairs (no elevator, third floor walk-up). So I just live with boxes piled like furniture. It’s small, but easier to clean, right!

Of course there’s more. These are the highlights. I’m sure I’ve missed positive things because it’s hard to see them during a dark time. Like going out with some of my best friends, including Don (who I think recently turned 80), to see Don’s grandkids in a community production of Hello Dolly last summer. Totally fun! Or that I sang for a while with a woman’s choir called Cantara for a while — got to perform once at the Summer Solstice Fire Service at Lake Harriet Spiritual community. Very cool. Or hot, actually!

There’s always more. For that, you’ll have to call or write. I’ll answer or reply if I’m having a good day.

Thanks for reading. Cheers!