Am I Better?

When I sleep tons, and I mean 10-12 hours or more, I feel okay. As long as I do nothing. I can do some things, like walk a little, do my physical therapy (very mild) exercises, continue to unpack boxes, go shopping, cook, pay bills, write in my journal, or even work on a small volunteer project. But I must usually pick one of those things per day. Really. If I do more, I will pay.

This is especially true since the separation from my husband is not  complete, and we can’t agree, so he’s insisting we go to court, which will drag this out for at least a year. Which reminds me, I need to drive to court to make sure they get my change of address (I moved last month to a hopefully permanent apartment… moving again may kill me). I am certain the stress of this unexpected change is wearing on me.

I periodically push myself to do a large volunteer project just to test the waters, which usually wipes me out for a week or two after, depending on the demands of the project (big pushes and late nights = bad idea).

But then, I’m not being rushed to the ER every two weeks in excruciating pain like last year. That’s an improvement. I think I am physically feeling better, but only when I do nearly nothing.

So am I better? I really really don’t know.